Double Deception
by TallerThanThou ShorterThanThou
Summary: Sakura, tired of the love square between her, Sasuke, Hinata, and Naruto presents a plan unaware that the same thing occurred in Naruto and Sasuke's mind. SasuHina, NaruHina, NaruSaku, SasuSaku
1. Chapter 1

Sakura's POV

I, Haruno Sakura, nurse in training, have come up with a brilliant plan. It's absolutely foolproof (meaning nothing Naruto does will ruin it). Even for me, it was unusually amazing. I mean, it's the best ever! Well, it would be the best ever if I can convince Hinata to go along with it. Knowing her, she'd hesitate due to the cruel genius of it all. Still, it couldn't be helped, and I was not about to go down without a fight. So I walked out of my apartment to the Hyuuga's house.

"YOU WANT TO WHAT!" my plan caused Hinata to yell, one of the rare moments she surpassed a whisper. Realizing her mistake, her face immediately turned red. I sighed. I really did regret drawing her into all this crap, but without her help, the love square couldn't be broken.

"I want you to switch places with me. That way, we both get what we want; you can get Naruto, and I can get Sasuke. We will do it with a transformation justu; and we can meet up at your place or mine to get familiar with the other's way of life," I repeated dully. See, this is why Hinata sometimes makes me so frustrated. She's the best most of the time. She has great fashion sense, helps me whenever she can, and looses her stutter if you knew her well enough. Sometimes, we even gossiped together. The only problem was that she was completely innocent. If it was Ino, she'd agree with no hesitation. Except Hinata wasn't a manipulating slut like Ino, no offense to neither.

"But we'll be deceiving both of them! What if they find out?" Hinata asked doubtfully.

"Hina-chan, we're _ninjas_. Or _daily lives_ are deceiving. They won't find out, I promise. If they do, you can tell them it's my fault." Triumphantly, I smirked, sure that the previous argument would work. One glance at my partner in seducing assured me it did not.

"Look, I'll explain the situation; I love Sasuke, but Sasuke loves you. You love Naruto, but Naruto loves me. It's one big love square, and frankly, I can't put up with it anymore. If I switched places with you, I can get Sasuke, while you can get Naruto," I explained. Still, Hinata looked doubtful.

"Are you sure this isn't going to blow up in our faces?" she asked. Sighing impatiently, I shook my head.

"When have my plans _ever_ blown up in our faces?" I said confidently. Shyly, Hinata pressed her fingers together. As one, we both recounted all of my failures. And I assure you, while they were a great many, the success rate was way up high. If you could consider 40% high. Shut up Inner! I yelled to myself. This plan was going to succeed, because it's so damn awesome.

In another place…

"WHAT?" Sasuke yelled with a 'WTF' expression pasted on his face. That's right, emo boy yelled, he was so shocked. Damn, why didn't he come up with that plan? The sheer brilliancy, the simplicity, there was no way it'd fail. Before him, Naruto smiled. In creepy harmony, the two bend their heads over the precious notebook containing their master plan (well, Naruto's master plan), smirking demonically.

A/N: Ohhh, Cliffie! What's gonna happen next? This is our second Naruto fic, and hopefully better than the first, because Demon-Pixie was only allowed to give ideas this time, instead of writing a crappy one shot about someone mispronouncing 'butter'. Sasuke never left in this one, so don't get confused!

Parody Thingy:

Demon-Pixie: How'd you come up with this idea again?

Pie: You're just jealous I thought of it before you did *sticks tongue out*

Demon-Pixie: Oh, this is gonna be good. Double deception :)


	2. Chapter 2

With Sasuke and Naruto…

Let's backtrack a bit okay? Don't get annoyed or anything. It's just for a paragraph. Anyways, the genius plan was sure to work. Sasuke was stunned that the dobe could think of something this brilliant, and the 'dobe' was pondering if the teme had lost his wits because he was cackling very un-Uchiha like over their precious baby…er parchment, yeah that's it. Maybe the phase 'I-Want-To-Get-A-Hickey-On-My-Neck-Sucking-Up-My-Chakra-So-I-Can-Kill-My-Brother' phase never did blow over. Perhaps it had permanently affected the Uchiha's brain. Unfortunately, Naruto would never be sure, because at that moment, they were both summoned by the Hokage.

…HA. You thought Sakura and Hinata would walk in, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? They didn't. TAKE THAT!

As we were saying, the two friends got summoned by Tsunade. That of course, did not always bode well, especially when the smell of sake was wafting out of her office. Which, in this very inopportune moment, it chose to do so. Sasuke sighed miserably. Before their plan was even put in motion, they were doomed. The two of them were no doubt here for a mission. This, of course, meant that blonde jinchuuriki was not about to be satisfied unless it was at least A-rank. They were still Chuunin. A-rank missions were not very likely, despite Team Kakashi's very high reputation. A-rank missions came about every once a blue moon. And how often was a blue moon?

"Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, the mission will consist of escorting two—"

"WHAT? THAT'S TOO EASY FOR THE LIKES OF MY SKILLS!" Naruto shouted just as the Godaime was about to finish briefing them. The scary blonde lady twitched. Naruto, sensing danger, stopped protesting.

"_As I was saying_," Tsunade gritted out, "you will be escorting two medics to Amegakure, where it is suspected there is an Akatsuki base."

LOLWUT. You did not see that coming either did you? Now wait and see who the two medics are.

"YAY, AN A-RANKED MISSION!" Naruto rejoiced. Suddenly, a chakra enhanced fist pummeled him out of the building. Miraculously (since this is anime world we're talking about), he managed to be alright and still scale up the Hokage building until he was in his original position outside the window. Tsunade sighed. Sometimes, she wondered why she had imparted the Shodaime's necklace (it's a manly necklace, just in case you thought he was gay) to the idiot. And then she remembered that the idiot possessed almost twice as much stamina as her, even if he did not know how to put it to good use most of the time. Still, at least he had the brains to figure out that yes, it was indeed an A-ranked mission.

You want to know who the two medics are right? Well, we refuse to tell you. And your guess is probably wrong, by the way.

"Who are the two medics?" Sasuke had the sense to ask. Smirking, Tsunade opened the door.

"I'm sure you're already acquainted," she said in response. This would be interesting.

"SASUKE-KUN!" both the girls squealed together. Wait. That can't be happening right? Right. Because Hinata's in love with Naruto, and Sakura's the only one in love with Sasuke. Spot on, dear friends. Now, we shall explain what happened.

Simultaneously, both the jinchuuriki and the Uchiha's jaws dropped with horror. They would be on a mission with two fangirls. While the two fangirls were admittedly excellent medics, they were definitely not what Naruto and Sasuke had in mind. In fact, their minds seemed to be curving a bit more towards a certain Hyuuga and a certain Hokage's apprentice, both of which were much more experienced in the field of medic-ness.

"Hello, Karin, Ino. I'm sure you know what to do?"

Fuck.

A/N: YOU DIDN'T SEE IT COMING! MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!

An interview with…*drumroll*…Hoshigaki Kisame! Just because he's blue.

Pie: So, Kisa-chan, mind telling us how it feels to be here?

Kisame:…please don't call me that. And it feels torturous.

Pie: Ahh, but Kisa-chan is cute, ne? Being cute is good.

Kisame: Like hell it is!

Pie: Ahh, yes very accurate. Very hellish being cute is indeed. Hell is very trendy lately.

Kisame:…Were did you get that?

Pie: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Demon-Pixie: *choose this very awkward moment to appear*

Awkward silence

Pie: EVERY AWKWARD SILENCE A GAY BABY IS BORN!

Another awkward silence

Kisame: Another gay baby was born.

Demon-Pixie: So, Hoshigaki-san, how is it being in Akatsuki?

Kisame: *glad someone can address him politely* It's fun. Samehada's never gone hungry since I joined.

Demon-Pixie: On the subject of Samehada-san, how is he? Anything about him you'd like to tell us?

Kisame: *grins like the shark he is* Samehada's the same as always. I suspect that he's missing his mommy. *goes misty eyed* Don't worry, Same-chan! Daddy will go visit mommy with you!

Pie: *off her caffeine high* Er…how pleasant. So, Kisa-chan, would you mind telling us your…ah, ethicality? For example, are you a shark or a human?

Kisame: *gives up on getting Pie to call him his normal name* I am half shark.

Pie: Here, have some sushi.

Kisame: YOU'RE EATING MY PARENTS!

Pie: *munch*

Demon-Pixie:…

End of interview because Kisame stormed out crying.

Deep thoughts: If Kisame is Samehada's daddy, and Samehada has so many tentacle things, would that make Kihada his mother? Because…KiSAME and KiHADA. It's just too cute! Does that mean Kihada was a squid? A shark and a squid. Weird.


	3. Chapter 3

With Sakura and Hinata…

"SHE SENT WHAT WITH WHO?" Sakura screamed indignantly. Hinata cowered behind a table, at a loss for words. At least none of the hags would pull a move on Naruto, she thought. However, Sasuke…a wave of pity for her friend and fellow medic washed over her. It was quickly abolished when a completely evil look crossed the pink headed girl's features.

"U-um…" Hinata stuttered, backing into a wall in her haste to escape.

"We're going to follow them," Sakura muttered more to herself than Hinata. And with that, they set out, forgetting to pack. Well, that couldn't be good can it?

Later…

"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE FORGOT TO PACK!"

Naruto looked up curiously, tilting his head to the left.

"Did you hear something?" he asked the assembled teme and fangirls. The teme nodded uncertainly, causing poor Naruto to get tackled by the jealous fangirls. Sasuke sighed. It had been like that for the whole trip. Whenever Naruto would address Sasuke, the two idiots would scowl and attack him for wasting Sasuke's time. They were wasting my time more than Naruto, Sasuke thought in an emo way.

"It sounded like Sakura," Sasuke replied. This, of course, caused the Karin and Ino to go into a discussion about how they were better than the pink haired medic. This time, it was Naruto who sighed. Two days after the mission was assigned, they were making little to no progress through the trees. Though talented in the art of healing, Karin and Ino unfortunately had small talent in anything else.

"Why would Sakura-chan follow us?"

"Maybe she—" Sasuke got cut off. Unfortunately for us, we will never really find out what he meant to say, for right after the interruption passed, Sasuke forgot all that was going on in his mind previously due to a very shocking image of two people that he did not expect to see, one of whom should not be acting so confident.

"H-hinata?" Sasuke stuttered, immediately blushing. 'Hinata' smoothed her hair and sauntered over. What shocked him even more was that Sakura, the confident one, was hiding behind a tree. It's like their personality switched, Sasuke thought to himself.

Though he didn't know it at the time, he was completely right.

A/N: Like? No like? You tell us!

Parody Thingy:

Pie: OMG so leik guess what?

Demon-Pixie: I'll guess when you stop speaking in text language.

Pie: I GOT AN LG CHOCOLATE! AND IT'S AMAZING AND PRETTYFUL AND TOUCHABLE! AND IT'S TOUCH SCREEN AND I HAVE RADIO AND INTERNET AND I CAN USE IT AS AN IPOD!

Demon-Pixie: YOU ALREADY TOLD ME THAT! SHUT THE HELL UP!

Pie: WHY YOU INSOLENT LITTLE—KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!

*smoke*

Demon-Pixie: *cracking up* You insolent little Kuchiyose no Jutsu?

Suddenly a shadow emerges.

Demon-Pixie: *screams*

It's a large egg.

Pie: ARG! NOT YOU AGAIN, KATON! WHERE'S YOUR MOM?

Katon: *pokes head through shell* It's not my fault you can't control chakra. And she's busy. (Hotaru is his mother, and she's an eagle)

Pie: IT'S NOT MY FAULT REIATSU WAS EASIER TO CONTROL THAN CHAKRA!

Demon-Pixie: *cackles* Kuchiyose no Jutsu.

*summons a mansion sized cat*

Pie: *cries*


	4. Chapter 4

Suddenly, the noise level in the forest was alarmingly low as Hinata confidently strutted to Sasuke. All of the assembled gawked.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun, Naruto, Ino-pig, Karin-whore," 'Hinata' said. 'Sakura', still hidden behind her tree, motioned frantically. 'Hinata' seemed to catch on and wildly backtracked, finally sounding like the real one.

"Er-um-…" Sakura blushed as everyone stared at her, including Hinata, who looked uncharacteristically vicious.

"What," Ino spat, "did you call us?"

"I-I…" Sakura stuttered, trying to imitate Hinata's timid character. Finally, hitting upon an idea, she gave herself a hard pinch on a pressure point located by her thigh. Immediately, tears welled up in her eyes. With a sigh of relief, Hinata got out from behind the tree.

"Lay off her you skanks. I've been coaching her on conduct," Hinata said, trying to sound more confident than she felt. Those girls were probably much stronger than her, and her fighting style was completely different from Sakura's. There was no way she could ever be as confident as the pink haired medic, who had received special training, and was really the better person…

Oh no! Sakura screamed inwardly. Her mirror image's hands were inching together in the characteristic shy motion we all knew. Thankfully, Hinata caught herself.

"I-I…Sakura-chan…maybe you should stop giving me those lessons…I…um…" Sakura trailed off in what she could only hope was in a true Hinata fashion.

"Damn right!" Karin snapped.

"Listen, as pleasing as it will no doubt be to throw you in the river, you need to get a move on. And like it or not, we are coming with you." Thank god, Hinata thought gratefully. She was a good actress.

"Well this isn't odd," Naruto remarked in a low voice. Besides him, Sasuke nodded.

"Hey, dobe, do you think we should…?"

"Yeah…"

A/N: Cliffie! Woot woot!

Parody Thingy:

Pie: OH MY GOD! WHAT AM I GONNA WEAR, WHAT AM I GONNA WEAR? THAT RUFFLE TOP OR THAT CAMI WITH THE TUNIC AND BELT? OH MY GOD! WHAT IF HE THINKS I'M UGLY AND DITCHES ME? WHAT IF I LOOK FAT? WHAT IF I WORE TOO HIGH WEDGES AND END UP THREE INCHES TALLER THAN HIM?

Demon-Pixie: It'll be fine. He did ask you, didn't he? NOW STOP BUGGING ME AND LET ME DO MY ALGEBRA HOMEWORK! BESIDES, IT'S TOMORROW!

Pie: But what if-

Demon-Pixie: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU FUCKING OVERGROWN BRAT!

Pie:…but he said-

Demon-Pixie: I KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING BOY SAID AS DID EVERYONE ELSE IN THAT HALLWAY!

Pie: But that one girl was always-

Demon-Pixie: Well she's a fucking skank, ain't she?

Pie:…OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE!

Demon-Pixie: *determinedly mutters* Sin A= opposite/hypotenuse or a/c…

Pie: You're soo lucky you haven't got boy issues…just you wait until you get your first crush…I'll get my revenge…

Demon-Pixie: THE HYPOTENUSE IS THE SIDE OPPOSITE THE NINETY DEGREES ANGLE IN A RIGHT TRIANGLE! THEREFORE, A SQUARED PLUS B SQUARED EQUALS C SQUARED SO D MUST EQUAL 5.398! AND THEN E MUST EQUAL 9!

Pie: Yes, you will die for mocking me…

Demon-Pixie: PI EQUALS 3.1415926!

Pie: I will personally make you and your future boyfriend feel so awkward you'll wish you've never been born!

Demon-Pixie: HYDROGEN, HELIUM, LITHIUM, BERYLLIUM, BORON, ARBON, NITROGEN, OXYGN, FLUORINE, NEON, SODIUM, MAGNESIUM, ALUMINUM, SILLICON, PHOSPHORUS, SULFUR, CHLORINE, ARGON, POTASSIUM, CALCIUM, SCANDIUM, ITANIUM, BANADIUM, CHROMIUM, MANGANESE, IRON, COBALT, NICKEL, COPPER, ZINC!

Pie: Yes, and you shall suffer many innuendoes…

Demon-Pixie: GALLIUM, GERMANIUM, ARSENIC, SELENIUM, BROMINE, KRYPTON, RUBIDIUM, STRONTIUM, YTTRIUM, ZIRCONIUM, NIOBIUM, MOLYBDENUM, TECHNITIUM, RUTHENIUM, RHODIUM, PALLADIUM, SILVER, CADMIUM, INDIUM, TIN, ANTIMONY TELLURIUM, IODINE, XENON, CESIUM, BARIUM, HAFNIUM TANTALUM, TUNGSTEN!

Pie: WILL YOU STOP RUBBING IT IN THAT YOU GOT INTO ADVANCED SCIENCE AND HAVE A PHOTOGENIC MEMORY?

Demon-Pixie: NO! RHENIUM, OSMIUM, IRIDIUM, PLATINUM, GOLD, MERCURY, THALLIUM, LEAD, BISMUTH, POLONIUM, ASTINE, RADON, FRANCIUM, RADIUM, SHIT WHAT'S NEXT?

Pie: HOW WOULD I KNOW? I'M LUCKY ENOUGH TO EVEN REMEMBER THAT LITHIUM IS BEFORE BERYLLIUM!

Many hours later…

Demon-Pixie: Oh yeah, it was rutherfordium…

Demon-Pixie's mom: Huh? Honey, are you feeling alright?


End file.
